what really is relaxation? and how can I benefit from it? can anyone learn how to relax?

 

A dictionary definition of relaxation states that it is to make or become less tight, to make or become less extreme or strict, to relieve from effort or stress, to take one's ease -- rest, to become less formal or tense.  In other words, simply, it is to get cool, calm and comfortably collected. And as in most human behavior where moderation is important, getting relaxed is no different. There must be a balance between relaxation and productive tension. It's also important to understand the difference between relaxation and complacency. The ultimate goal is to gain a balance between these aspects -- relaxation and productive tension. It's logical that, since we are created to be "in balance", tension or stress must have a counter agent.  This is what we call relaxation. It is the function of the parasympathetic part of the autonomic nervous system. It, as all aspects of the human being are, is complicated and must be approached very seriously since it may save your life if you introduce it and learn to use it or make it a important part of it.

Deduction tells us that if there is productive tension, there certainly is going to be unproductive tension. It's logical to also deduct that the ideal is to eliminate the unproductive tension in favor of productive tension. It is normal to have some stress. It is also normal to have some tension; otherwise, we wouldn't be able to function. The trick is to encourage the productive and eliminate or put in abeyance the unproductive. Learning to relax requires attention, and remarkably, some tension. From this we can recognize that it is important to have relaxed attention, not tense attention. Relaxed attention's goal is to learn to let go of chronic, excessive or irrelevant attention -- to focus our attention energy in a purposeful and appropriate direction. We know what relax means; now we need to know what attention is or means.  There are different kinds of attention no different than there are different kinds of stress (good and bad.) We must choose the right type of attention to attain the goal of relaxation. Learning to relax isn't an easy task, and isn't your ordinary "taking it easy" type of activity. We're talking about "big time" relaxation, the kind that pervades your whole body and gives you near total surcease from the ravages of stress and tension. However, think of it this way: You learned how NOT to be relaxed, so why can't you learn how to be relaxed? Here are some different types of attention to help us understand a little of this important aspect of our task. Choosing the right one to help us learn to relax is important.

Persuasive attention -- imposed or demanded attention, such as, "Pay attention, class! Now!"

Placid attention -- passive, not showing much interest in what's going on, being "disinterested" -- like, "I went to the museum, but nothing there got my attention.  I just wandered around, not getting much from it."

Engrossed attention -- being so engrossed on one thing that other things gon't "get your attention."

Pre-attention -- having done something so many times that it takes no attention to do it again and again -- like driving the same route to work every day. After a while, you seemingly do it without thinking about it, or "attending" to it.

Volitional attention -- the ability to shift from one issue to another without loss of interest or attentiveness. Like a good teacher is aware of the needs of her pupils; however, at the same time can shift attention to attend to a single pupil's needs and repeatedly do it, still not lose her interest or attention to the whole class.

Reviewing the above types of attention, it is apparent that the only one that appears to be ideal, is the volitional type. It would give the best results in learning how to relax. Knowing this, let's just look at some of the different ways to learn how to relax.  It would take a book to discuss them all; so I will only list them.  If you want a good explanation of one type in particular -- progressive relaxation -- you'll find it described in my book "Why Not Do God?" (which, by the way, is not about religion, but about human personality with the spiritual dimension added into the hierarchy -- conscious/unconscious/sub-unconscious (spiritual dimension). It is a whole and inclusive other theory, The Shrink's Theory.  I've set aside a "room" in which I emphasize that it is absolutely necessary to consider humankind's spiritual dimension -- to consider the "support system" -- to understand just who we are. It's different from the other theories, for sure, and is one of the absolutes in which I believe.

Here are some of the techniques used.  None of these should be tried lacking instruction or help.  In some cases, great care must be taken in choosing a well trained and experienced therapist -- one who is spiritually oriented.

Biofeedback -- a technique that "teaches" the unconscious dimension how to "control" the body's functions (mainly the autonomic function). It requires a highly trained therapist and usually finely calibrated electronic equipment -- and time!

Meditation (several types) -- these are legion, some of which are mainly of Eastern religion origin. Yoga (a variety of types), Transcendental Meditation (TM), prayerful meditation, etc. There are many nuances and issues involved in these techniques -- more than room here allows us to discuss.  Research is important to know in what direction to go -- and be careful! Some are related to and are controlled by cults and questionable groups. (I would never recommend them, since they are not in God! Remember I said I would not recommend any theory or technique (treatment) unless it were? By the way, it is also important to know that some "religions" are cults -- some you wouldn't suspect!

Autogenics -- a technique little used today. Has much in common with progressive muscle relaxation techniques with some interesting other features.

Hypnosis -- a technique that renders conscious processes into abeyance to enable the unconscious to be "manipulated" to gain balance and emotional comfort -- not only used for relaxation (self-hypnosis), but is used for therapeutic purposes such as for pain control, helping overcome phobias, anxiety, depression, weight problems, etc. (age regression, double binds, revivication, post-hypnotic instructional assistance, etc. are all involved in its use.) Needless to say this technique absolutely requires a very well trained therapist to work with a patient; so use extreme care in choosing a therapist. (Anyone can be a hypnotist; but only a few are well-trained enough to know what they are doing, or how to use it therapeutically. Choose only a qualified, licensed psychologist or psychiatrist with extensive training.)

 The most common technique to learn how to relax is progressive relaxation -- easy to teach, easy to use, generally effective in simple stress and tension reduction and quite safe.  The others listed are less commonly used, and should be under the supervision of a trained therapist (preferably a psychologist, clinical social worker or psychiatrist.)

I must also tell you that there are other important considerations in learning how to relax. For instance, one has to know how to set reasonable goals to reach -- result goals, time goals, self-improvement goals, etc. Not doing it the right way can add to your stress and tension. Needless to say, the relaxation process is not something that is to be trifled with -- it is serious business and needs serious consideration in using it. Remember this throughout any program you may enter or self-institute (with help, of course!)

  

Let's look at some theories of personality now.  Advance on to the Psychoanalytic Theory "room."